I’m not what you would call a drinker.  I am not a non-drinker either.  Nor can I call myself a “social drinker”.  I don’t know what I am.  And I don’t know why that bothers me so much.  Up until the age of 22, I could confidently call myself a non-drinker.  I think, up until that age, I had been drunk maybe two or three times in my life.  Now, at the age of 32, I still have not been drunk more than 15 times in my life, but I do drink now and to be honest, I have lost a bit of the pride I had in being able to call myself a “non-drinker”.  Not only that, but I even enjoy the odd drink now.  I love a nice glass of wine to accompany a fine meal.  I even enjoy the odd “girly drink” as my loved one’s will often point out to me.  But I will still, more often than not, simply enjoy a cranberry/soda, or a ginger ale… or in my older days, when my stomach could take it… a Chocolate Banana milkshake, served right from the tin…

I don’t know where I am going with all of this, but I am way off track.  Basically, because of this quasi non-drinker status, throughout my life I have been the guy whom most people have tried to get drunk.  Or, at least be the guy who everyone around has expressed great interest in spending some time with me where I am intoxicated.  I don’t know what that is, but because I have started to enjoy the alcoholic beverage, my friends have raised the stakes.  It seems hanging out with me while I slur my words and express unfounded affection isn’t enough.  No, now the new goal seems to be to try to get me high.  And for 32 years I could confidently say that I have never done drugs…  I haven’t even touched them.  I don’t see the appeal, though that could be, because I have never been high and therefore never experienced the appeal, but for 32 years I could honestly say I never did, and thought never would do any sort of drug…

And I still haven’t.  But lately, people have tried tempting me with the one thing that could possible turn me to the dark side…  THE HASH BROWNIE!!!  Those of you who know me, know that it takes every ounce of my being to resist any sort of dessert or tasty sugary treat, and so with that, the odds of me ever getting high just went from zero to a slight possibility.  It hasn’t happened yet, but perhaps it could.  I don’t know what I would feel like as a high person, but I imagined that if I was at a party with my girlfriend a year ago, before we were together, it would have went a little something like this… 

THE STRONGEST MUSCLE IN THE BODY

So this is what it's like to be high ... I don't get ... I don't get the big deal ... I'm not feeling a thing ... Not a thing ... And I find that oddly ... And unexpectedly ... Very funny ... Hilarious in fact ... Funnier than perhaps it should be ... But still I don't see what the big de-   Wait a minute ... Oh my God ... Oh, my fucking God! ... Look at that bug!! ... Look at it!!  Oh, my God ... It's just .... I mean it keeps ... Oh my God ... Is that normal? ... Are bugs supposed to.... There it goes again ... It has literally peaked it's head in and out of that book 56 times now ... 56 times!!!!  I know because I counted ... I may have missed one or two but I'm pretty sure it's 56 times ... 57 now ... 57 ...  Well I'm glad this has no effect on me ... I was worried ... 'cause I have a very addictive personality and I probably could become addicted very ......................

And he sat there looking at everyone around him wishing he was being touched, being kissed by that girl.  That girl who told him he should loosen up.  "SEE!!!", He wanted to scream.  "SEEEE!!!!! I can be loose to!!!!"  But she couldn't hear him.  She was to busy talking to that other guy.  That and he wasn't quite sure if he was actually screaming out loud or not.  He was going to scream again just to make sure, but he thought that it might make him look silly if he already had.  So instead, he got up, ate another brownie and started working on his cure for cancer.  He was THIS close.  He was sure of it.  Then she'd like him.  She'd have to.  But until then he just watched her talk to that other guy.  The better guy.  And as he watched her hand reach up to squeeze his arm while she laughed at one of his immature jokes, he's pretty sure he actually heard his heart break.  And all he could think is that it didn't sound at all like he thought it would.

I suppose I was supposed to write about my recent experiences involving the completion of our recent short film, but I didn’t really feel like it.  Maybe next time.